8486.) The very worst part about online friends: When they’re in crisis, you can’t go and see them in person. You can’t let them spend the night at your house. You can’t cook them dinner. You can’t go with them to a job interview. You can’t take them out for coffee. You can’t hold their hand or hug them. You can’t let them use your shower. You can’t be a physical contrast to the abusive people in their physical lives.
Was not fun. In fact it very nearly erased all of the progress I’ve made.
So I wanted to say thanks to D for helping me out of this hole, as well as so many others. You’re an amazing guy, DM, and I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through some of this stuff without you being there for me. Thanks.
So you know when you’re listening to a song through headphones and it doesn’t really sound like it’s coming from the individual speakers, but more like it’s from the core of your mind? I think it is. I think your mind picks up all these little codes that it transmits into sound, or the concept of “sound.” And since everyone’s mind works differently, any song is percieved differently by a group of people and it is each their own and really is coming from your mind.
And it would explain a lot, if you think about it. Everyone has a different taste in music, some people simply don’t like certain types of music. But what if it literally sounds different to them than it does to us? So say your favorite group is The Kinks. And you cannot stand Justin Bieber or something. But somebody has the complete opposite opinion. But what if their perception of “Justin Bieber” is your perception of “The Kinks”? (Not to put them in the same boat. Obviously Ray Davies beats little Bei-bop everyday of the week.) Our taste in music usually reflects what we grew up listening to, right? Well maybe that was us be programmed. Not brain washed necessarily, but we just eventually become programmed to like that certain type of music, know what I mean?
I was talking with Emmy and her parents about religion and whatnot and it hit me. I know where I stand with God.
I see all of these awesome things around me, and I just feel this complete awe at it all. And I know there is a God in these things and my feelings toward them. The wind hits you just right and you feel inexpicably wonderful, you know? How could I feel something so blissful without there being someone upstairs making all of this? It wasn’t random. It was programmed. The entire universe is a giant fucking computer that spews out all of these brilliantly elaborate organisms, and God must be typing away night and day to make it so.
So maybe I don’t agree with some of his followers. But I know he exists, and that’s really the most important part in my opinion. Maybe I’ll get there eventually, but in all honesty I’m perfectly happy with where I am now.
The first two entries were BS’d because I dunno if you know this, but the first 70 pages of the book aren’t exactly easy to write on. My third entry? Gold. Pure gold. It was a comparison of Holden and Charlie from The Perks. I wonder if I’m right about it. I have the sudden urge to skip to the end.
Also, I have to write a paper on the symbolism in the book. So far I’m not picking up on any.
Do you hear that? It’s the sound of wind through the trees Do you see that? It’s the birds returning from winter Do you feel that? It’s the first warm rain of the spring Do you smell that? It’s the first blooms of honeysuckle Do you sense that? It’s the world at peace.
I saw that you're getting fed up with religion. I've been there, trust me. But dude, check out 8:28. It's this roaming group of college hipsters (but you're totally welcome even though you're a high schooler) that get together and jam out for Jesus on Wednesdays. We meet at different churches, but next week, it's at First Baptist Church Milton in the Bamberg Chapel. If it makes you feel an better, it's not even technically an established "church." Judgement free zone, and sick band. This week, there was this chick with pink and green hair.. Literally. No judgement. We've got some pretty crazy cats roll through there, and they're awesome. Anyways, hit me up if you think about it. :)
A few friends invited me to their churches, so I’m going to check those out. But I’ll let you know if I decide to go to one of the meetings :)
He stormed into the room, coming towards her with red anger in his eyes.
"Why?" he asked impatiently.
"…Sorry?" she said in confusion.
He lifted a piece of paper, covered in writing. “Oh” was all she could measure as recognition dawned and fear sprouted inside her.
"Why!" he demanded.
“… sorry,” she whispered inaudibly, the rest of her words lost in her throat.
“WHY!?” he exploded.
“Oh!” she moaned, giving way to tears. “Sorry… sorry, sorry… sorry! Oh, oh sorry!” she implored through her chokes of sobs.
“Sorry,” he repeated incredulously. He hit is forehead in mock discovery. “Oh! Sorry! SORRY!”
She cringed away in fear as his anger reached its peak.
As he tore the paper to pieces, she began to tremble with sadness and desperation. With a sarcastic “Sorry,” he was gone, and she was left to try to put the parchment back together, silently crying “Why?”