My little sister finished Deathly Hallows last night
And afterward we were watching Part 1 together. She had been laying down in my bed, but as soon as the movie started, she sat up, enraptured. And looking at her feel the emotions and wonder I had felt when I first finished the book/watched the movie, I had this overwhelming, proud big sister moment.
Recently my dad has been on my case about my grades. He keeps telling me I’m letting them slip, I don’t study as much as I use to (ridiculous) and a bunch of shit like that.
Grades are a touchy subject with me, because I feel like it’s the one area in which I feel confident. I’m not an artist of any sort, I’m not too terribly creative, I’m not the prettiest dress in the store, and I’m definitely not coordinated, but I know shit. And I’ve always liked that. Unfortunately, my self esteem can be torn down easily by those I’m close to, so needless to say that when my dad started freaking out, I started freaking out.
And my mom is, against her best intentions, making it worse because she keeps saying I have so much ahead of me, the least I need to worry about is a B on my exams. Which is true, and fine to say but then she goes on and on about college and I keep thinking of how I’ve been looking forward to getting away since sixth grade and then I think about Paper Towns, and how one of the things in it was, what if we live so much in the future that we forget to live here and now?
But my fear goes even further to this: What if the future is everything you want it to be, and you have nothing to move on to?
Anyways, now that I’ve gotten myself all in a bother, I’m going to watch Pride and Prejudice. That calms me down usually….